Growing Up In Today’s Society (As a POC)

Not Conforming to Society’s Standards

In my 14 years on this Earth, I quickly picked up that the world would hate me for the color of my skin.

Wether it was nasty looks when speaking spanish in public, nasty looks in general, name calling, or simply having grown adults pretend I wasn’t in the room.

Although it has never really bothered me, it’s something that has always been in the back of my mind, because it had to be. And by that, I mean that I couldn’t just ignore the fact that some saw my skin color, my language, and my culture as a threat or a bother.

And it wasn’t just my people, no, it’s Hispanics in general, Asians, African/African-Americans and many more. For decades, people of color (poc)have been oppressed and put down because “we don’t conform to society’s European beauty standards”.

A perfect example being, Maya Angelou’s “Graduation”, in which the main character tells the story of her high school graduation and how their, white, guest speakers completely crush their hopes and dreams for the future.

Specifically, when the speaker says that “The white kids are going to have a chance to be Galileos and Madame Curies and Edisons and Gauguins. And our boy (the girls weren’t even in on it) are going to try to be Jesse Owenses and Joe Louises”.

Now this is a perfect example of blatant racism that people of color have to deal with every single day of their lives. Graduation is supposed to be a day of celebrating students hard work and accomplishments, but no. This man decided it would be good to tell, this amazing class of proud black students, that if they wanted to reach even a small level of success in their life, they would have to pay their dues because of the color of their skin.

Actions like that, make it seem like “the accomplishment was nothing”, (Angelou). Like no matter all our hard work and efforts we will never be anything in life.

And frankly, there is some truth to it. Because we aren’t given the same opportunities, because we are declined a job interview, or of a higher education, or because some people can’t go running, or to the grocery store, or in public in general without being shot.

And so we never make it out, because there are so many things pulling us down.

But despite all that, no matter how many stares I get, how many names I am called, or how ever many times I am ignored, I will always be proud of my culture and my skin.

“Graduation” by Maya Angelou – https://drive.google.com/file/d/10GmT-xcJ8259vyzsZN4OzmME-Hst-2Ez/view

Life After Highschool (Is College Worth It?)

Weighing out the Pro’s and Con’s

Let’s lay out the facts, I am a middle-lower class, mexican-american, woman. After highschool, I will then be the second in my family to go to college, after my sister. Implying, that my financial situation for college will probably not be the best. However, my plan as well as my parent’s, has always been for me and my sister to have a better life than they did.

And from what I’ve seen, going to college and getting a degree really increases the chances of a better life.

According to U.S News, “The average college graduate earns a salary that is over $30,000 more than an average worker with only a high school diploma, according new research by the Federal Reserve Bank of New York”. Meaning that, although the debt will be large, I can always pay it back slowly. And, with a stable position, thanks to my degree, I would slowly but surely pay it back.

As well as, be able to support myself and my family financially. And most importantly, have options as to what I want to pursue in life. I believe that having different options is important because it would give me a little bit of freedom to do something that I’m passionate about.

Based on Indeed’s article “9 Benefits of Going To College”, “If you pursue a college education, you could be more likely to find a job you will enjoy. If you need a career that brings purpose and meaning to your life, such as working in the health care industry, you will likely need a college education”.

This is quite important to me because if I’m going to put my family and myself though all that debt, there needs to be something i get out of it. Despite from an education, going to college pens up a lot of doors for an individual.

So to conclude, although financial conflicts are inevitable, there will always be ways around it. And in the long run, it will be worth it, and is and has always been my plan to attend college and get a higher education.

“9 Benefits of Going to College” – https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/college-benefits

“Is College Worth The Cost?” – https://www.usnews.com/education/best-colleges/paying-for-college/articles/2019-06-17/is-college-worth-the-cost

My Future (Jobs and Career)

How your Interests Affect Career Options

I personally don’t consider myself to be an artistic person, however when I go over the hobbies I enjoy such as, sewing, drawing, and making stickers, I seem to rethink the view I have of myself. I also am very introverted, which isn’t that hard to tell, but I find myself having to set that aside often for educational purposes.

Educational purposes meaning, public speaking in school presentations and such. Now I didn’t put aside my shakes and stutters because I felt confident in front of all the judging eyes, no, it came from fear of failure.

Besides the point, I genuinely enjoy the idea of voicing my opinion and standing up for those that don’t have a voice. The problem lies, in the actual act of speaking up.

All of these burried interests, seem to have affected my results for the career test I took. The results for possible career options were very people oriented positions.

For example I got, an administrator for preschool, elementary and middle, social/community service manager, human resource manager, and many more.

One of my more realistic dream careers, would be an attorney. Just the thought, of how I mentioned earlier, standing up for those that don’t always have a voice against the law and deserve justice is very interesting to me. Like many of the career options provided, being an attorney would require a lot of public speaking.

However, I’d be willing to put my personal issues aside if I knew that I could make someone’s life better.

But, taking that career path would take a lot of effort and time out of my personal life in order to achieve my goal. It would take many more years of education and lots of hard work. If it meant that minorities could start to have say because of me, then it’d all be worth it in the end.

I find my future to be very undefined and just a very big question mark in general. As I grow older I’ve started to learn more about myself and my interests, so nothing is set in stone just quite yet. But I know that whatever I decide to pursue will be something that means something to me.

Take the career test yourself! – https://www.cacareerzone.org/

Challenges of School (strict parents)

Nothing Less Than Perfect

Growing up, one of the biggest challenges that I’ve faced at school has always been to maintain my straight ” A’s “. Being the daughter of two immigrant parents, has always come with it’s expectations.

Especially, when your older sister has won, every. possible. academic. award. Now school has never really come hard to me, but that doesn’t mean that doesn’t mean I haven’t faced some challenges a long the way.

Now, when the average student is faced with a challenge, they will usually turn to the teacher for help. However, in my lovely, judgemental, over-complicated, brain of mine, I sort of had the idea that asking the teacher for help would mean not only that I did not understand the problem, but that I was also going to fail the class.

Which is absurd, and i acknowledge it, however it doesn’t stop me from hesitating to ask a simple clarification question.

And it doesn’t help to know that when I get a, not necessarily bad score on an assignment that won’t affect the course of my overall grade, just not the best, that my mother feels the need to ask “What happened?”.

And by asking this question, she does not mean it in a concerned that something happened way, but as in a, “why did you get it wrong?” way. Now I think to myself, “what answer does she really want to get out of asking me this question?”, because it’s not like I intentionally got the answers wrong, I just simply messed up or genuinely didn’t know.

But, that’s not what she wanted to hear. So I simply replied with a “I know, sorry”, in spanish of course.

And then there’s my father, but we won’t get in to too much detail about how I basically cried my way through the multiplication tables in third grade. But, it wasn’t because he yelled at me or scolded me when I didn’t get the answer right, it was my own disappointment of not meeting my own personal standards, that made me frustrated and cry out of anger.

Over the years, I have learned to be a little more excepting of mistakes and failure. And although I sometimes wished my parents didn’t care so much about my grades, I’m glad they did. Because it has built what I consider to be a good work ethic for not only myself but my sister.

So, even though sometimes there was a little tear on my fluency worksheets, I have come out a successful student in the end. And it all comes from not wanting to dissapoint my parents, or belittle all the hardwork that they put in to make our lives better than theirs were. And I hope that the day where I open a report card and all their hardwork hasn’t payed off, never comes.

My Beliefs (Life Lessons)

Friendships – and what they teach us

In my 14 years of existence, I have learned a few lessons from life. And from previous experiences, one of the most important lessons I’ve learned, is that when someone leaves your life it means that they were only supposed to stay in your life for that certain amount of time to teach you something. One of the most memorable examples of this lesson, happened to me in 6^th grade.  

In elementary school I was a much more social person, so I acquired quite a few friendships along the years. One of the more significant ones begun in 4^th grade. Now this girl, we’ll call her Victoria, had been in school with me since kindergarten. However, I never really talked to her, due to the fact that I found her a bit annoying. Then, in 4^th grade she made various attempts to join my table in spanish class. And after a few days, I decide to give her a chance. Quickly we began to connect, and I noticed that she had matured from the previous interactions I had judged her on. We started hanging out more, and more and she had become one of my very close friends.  

Despite the fact that we were two very different people we found common ground in many subjects. By different people, I mean she was very privileged and of a different cultural background. Growing up, I was always surrounded by hispanics, people that had the same childhood as me, and people that could relate to my home life. So it was quite interesting to befriend someone that I couldn’t always relate to. Although that never really stood in the way, and always kept us finding new things about each other.

We remained great friends and met each other’s families throughout the years. I could easily call her my best friend and felt as if I could tell her everything. But when we promoted from 6^th grade, we were both going to different middle schools and lived about 30 minutes away from each other. We kept in touch and visited one and other over the summer and at the beginning of the new school year.  

We called and texted but whether we acknowledged it or not, we started to grow apart. We had just begun to evolve into different people and start a new chapter in our lives. And our friendship was great for our elementary school selves. But as we grew up, we became different people.  

Although we don’t speak as often as we used to, I learned a lot from her, and I’m am eternally grateful for the friendship I shared with her. With that friendship, I learned that different doesn’t always mean bad. And I’m glad that she was in the chapter in my life and taught me what I needed to learn.  

Now, I have opened up to people outside of my comfort zone and made great relationships. So even if you’re sad that someone isn’t part of your life anymore, try and think of why they became part of it in the first place.  

What’s The Difference (Joy vs. Happiness Edition)

Spotting Them In The Wild

Happiness and joy although synonyms of each other on paper, are brought out for different situations in life. 

In the real world, the feeling of happiness is often connected to materialistic situations as well as an event in ones social life. For example, I personally feel happy when I get new clothes or new shoes, which again are material things. 

Now being happy when these things are brought into your life does not make you a bad person, you just have to distinguish that it is not the same as being joyful. 

The act of feeling joyful is usually derived from the simple and pure acts of life, which often coincide with valuable human interaction and self accomplishments. 

Like in the reading “Finding Equality Through Logic” by Yvette Dos, she claims, “when I tried my hand at writing, I experienced the joy of seeing my thoughts fill a page”. Showing that the joy came from a simple task related to her own well being and a feeling prideful for herself. 

Overall, these two emotions bring pleasant feelings into our life just at different times. 

“Finding Equality Through Logic” by Yvette Doss – https://thisibelieve.org/essay/12393/ 

Social Distancing

Week 1 of Distance Learning

As an effect of the Covid-19 outbreak, schools all over the country have moved online. And to be honest, it’s not my favorite thing in the world. I understand that this is nowhere near the worst that has come out of the pandemic; however, it does not mean I do not have an opinion. To start off, it’s not organized. There are a lot of sites from which you need to keep track of, and some of the assignment dates are all over the place. I appreciate the teacher’s help of course and they are doing their best, but it’s just a lot to handle. So overall, it’s not horrible, it’s just overwhelming and hasn’t been a steady transition.

Hobbies and Pastimes (During Covid-19 Pandemic)

With all this time, I’ve invested some of it trying to furthered my sewing skills. On Christmas, I got a sewing machine, and with it I’ve made a denim bag and a few failed attempts that you might call shirts. As well as, most of time has been spent on Netflix and Tik Tok. Although this isn’t the most productive way to spend my time, it sure is enjoyable. And makes the hours go by much more quickly in these long days.

 Book I’ve Read – “Everything Everything” – https://www.google.com/books/edition/Everything_Everything/Bg-8BQAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&printsec=frontcover (Book Preview) 

Book I’m Reading – “Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda” – https://www.google.com/books/edition/Simon_vs_the_Homo_Sapiens_Agenda/OGydBAAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&printsec=frontcover (Book Preview) 

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